thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
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we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
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Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Holy shit dude........stairs
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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