He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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