Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You're like the curious george of whores
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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