the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Nicole vs. Life
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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