1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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