I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
