What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
