i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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