yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
