she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
