Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
