Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
