Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
