I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
