Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
