is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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