just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
