I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
