Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
True strength comes from lack of pants
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
