a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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