i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
