Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
