Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
