He asked to "fluff my boner.."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
