: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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