Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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