You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
