god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's official drugs can't kill me
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
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