I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
