does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
