If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
