i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
