if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
