u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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