I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Even my vagina gasped.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
