if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
