I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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