Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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