i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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