The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
