I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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