You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
