Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
