saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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