I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
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i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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