Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

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  (312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend? http://tfl.nu/xot8
  Replies (23) Good night (530) Bad night (1815) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.

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  (859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT. http://tfl.nu/s1v1
  Replies (70) Good night (4593) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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  (440): I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat. http://tfl.nu/xoj4
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (3186) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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  (847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j
  Replies (37) Good night (5286) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

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  (904): i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents http://tfl.nu/zd1e
  Replies (60) Good night (1494) Bad night (4607) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.

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  (613): It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over. http://tfl.nu/tn8v
  Replies (9) Good night (984) Bad night (3257) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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  (+44): he said i ruined lesbian porn for him http://tfl.nu/xboc
  Replies (12) Good night (857) Bad night (3759) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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  (406): My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered http://tfl.nu/5zea
  Replies (6) Good night (2879) Bad night (471)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio

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  (617): The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio http://tfl.nu/9d6t
  Replies (10) Good night (3305) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night

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  (865): Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night http://tfl.nu/c61e
  Replies (2) Good night (1474) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?

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  (202): Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry? http://tfl.nu/phvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1288) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.

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  (914): Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger. http://tfl.nu/77lj
  Replies (5) Good night (1056) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.

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  (817): It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life. http://tfl.nu/h7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (350) Bad night (586) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I put xanax in the cake batter

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  Did you really? It all makes sense now.

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  (201): I put xanax in the cake batter (1-201): Did you really? It all makes sense now. http://tfl.nu/asjy
  Replies (14) Good night (815) Bad night (184) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?

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  (713): I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla? http://tfl.nu/e5jq
  Replies (8) Good night (1083) Bad night (142) Order T-Shirt

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