Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
