Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
