am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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