HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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