Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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