There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
