Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
