sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
