I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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