ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
