I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
