Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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