Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
