Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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