Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sarcasm needs its own font
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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