Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
