awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So many bounce houses so little time
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
