I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
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I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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